From Religion to Relationship

The fork in the road

2012-01-30T22:13:00.001-06:00

Have you ever walked with someone along life's journey, just to find yourself a couple of years down the road less and less connected? I have been feeling this for some time and I believe tonight was a night of realizing that the connection is fading out. I am not the same person that I was when I started walking this journey with my friend, and by the sign posts on the road, it seems that the fork in the road is only widening.
In my life at the moment, there isn't much in the way of outside activities pointing to a robust "spiritual life". I am not in a church. I am not doing the "traditional" church things at home. I am not watching Christian television.
I am not dialed in to the latest and greatest preachers or prophets. In fact, some of the outward things of my life look rather dull, mundane and perhaps, even "ungodly".
I would call this season of my life a self exploration & a season of growing. I am meeting with a counselor. I am participating in Toast Masters. I joined e-harmony & am getting to know a really great guy.

I am reflecting on things in my heart and I am reexamining things that I know about God. How can I truly say that I have "faith", if I haven't pulled beliefs from my heart for a deeper understanding. I don't want to go through my life renting a belief system.

Forks in the road are sometimes met with great enthusiasm and at other times are met with a soberness of heart. As for this friend, it's with a sense of sadness to see us heading in two different directions. The one thing that remains is that God is faithful to lead us and guide us on this journey. I can trust my friend to this fork in the road as God is directing.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Grace Walk

2012-01-20T16:04:00.001-06:00

When Iwas in the institution there was a method and approach to everything. Want to know God? Pray more. Want to do well in business? Readthe Proverbs. Want to overcome those badhabits? Get an accountability partner. Tired of feeling lonely? Get involved, join a small group, work withthe youth, work in the nursery or go on a mission trip. DO SOMETHING and you won’t feel X,Y or Z OR-have an issue with X, Y Z.

The promise that there is breakthrough by more sincerecommitment, deeper involvement or a sharper attention to the details of the 3step plan is seldom realized. I found inmy own personal life that I simply traded one vice for another. Now, on the outside that looks fine anddandy, but the shine soon wears off and you find that you still struggle withthe vice that you had before your church addiction.

I am nearly finished reading a book called “Grace Walk” bySteve McVey & it is a wonderful candid look at what it means to walk ingrace. A chapter I read last night thatstood out to me was about how the law stirs up rebellion. SeeRomans 7

The Lawand Sin

⁷ What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainlynot! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for thelaw. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had notsaid, “You shall not covet.”^[b] ⁸ But sin, seizing the opportunity affordedby the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. For apart from thelaw, sin was dead. ⁹ Once I was alive apart from the law; butwhen the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. ¹⁰ I found that the very commandment that was intended tobring life actually brought death. ¹¹ Forsin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, andthrough the commandment put me to death. ¹² So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy,righteous and good.

I am finding more and more as I let go and relax into love that sin has less of a hold on me. I am not a saint, I don't have it all figured out and MAN DO I REALLY SCREW THINGS UP, but grace is always there to pick me up and get me walking down the road again. That is what relationship is about.

From Religion to Relationship,

Heather

"Why I hate religion, but love Jesus"

2012-01-19T22:08:00.002-06:00

I thought this video was remarkable! I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did. Why I hate religion, but love Jesus.

What is your Story?

2011-11-30T21:40:00.001-06:00

I have been thinking a lot about stories here lately. I have been thinking about my experiences in life and the paths that I have been on. These situations culminate into stories. Jesus used parables, or stories, as a main way of teaching. Some of these stories were literal happenings and others were figurative.

Stories are all around us. You can't turn on the TV without being bombarded by story telling. You can't turn on the radio without a song telling you a story. You can't pick up a book with encountering a story. Even commercials understand that a good story sells.

Stories are powerful.

We have heard in days gone by, that God moved powerfully through Revivalist and through Evangelists. They shared the stories of God to the masses and there was a response from the people.

Who are the mouthpieces of God in this generation?

There is a lot of chatter in the airwaves in this media dominated generation. Who and what are the mouthpieces of God in this time and place? God doesn't need a media campaign, He doesn't need PR work done on His behalf. He is alive and well and moving mightily through His Sons and Daughters.

WE are His mouthpiece.

Our individual stories are powerful in the airwaves of the earth. It is true that we overcome by the blood of the lamb AND the WORD of OUR Testimony. There is no testimony without a test. When we, the Sons and Daughters of the Great One open our mouths in the earth, we release a resonance that makes full impact.

This is more than just sharing about how we were saved or filled with the Holy Spirit. This is real-life-living talk. The ups, the downs and everything in between. This is honest talk, talk that includes "I don't know". When we are living in the honesty of who we are, keeping it real and sharing our stories, God is honored and HE shows up.

When I gave up the Religious living and the facade that it required and started just being real.. I had WAY more God conversations than I ever would have imagined.

Stories are powerful.

What is your story?

Know-it-alls

2011-07-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

I was confronted tonight for my "bossiness". I went to Google to find out what the word on the street was for "know-it-alls" and the thesaurus was quite telling:

Main Entry:	know-it-all
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	one who claims full knowledge
Synonyms:	braggart, brain, brain*, intellectual, smart aleck,smart aleck, smart-ass, smarty-pants, walkingencyclopedia, windbag, wise guy, wiseacre

* = informal/non-formal usage

Main Entry:	arrogant
Part of Speech:	adjective
Definition:	having exaggerated self-opinion
Synonyms:	aloof, assuming, audacious, autocratic, biggety,bossy, bragging, cavalier, cheeky, cocky, cold-shoulder, conceited, contemptuous, cool,disdainful, domineering, egotistic, haughty, highand mighty, high-handed, imperious, insolent,know-it-all* , lordly, on an ego trip, overbearing,peremptory, pompous, presumptuous,pretentious, proud, puffed up, scornful, self-important, smarty, smug, sniffy, snippy, snooty,snotty, stuck up, supercilious, superior,swaggering, uppity, vain, wise guy
Antonyms:	humble, meek, servile, unconceited

__________________________________________________________________________
OUCH!
Where I managed to pick this habit up, I cannot tell you. I can say for certainty that at the moment I am acutely aware of the friction it brings in my relationships.

In thinking back through the past few years of my life I have started to realize that this is rampant in Christianity. In thinking through the issue, I see that this overbearing "I have THE answer for you" attitude is pervasive in Christian circles (at least in the ones I have been in).
We go to church services to be "told what God wants us to do". We are then encouraged to "be the light" and usually involves talking with people about the Lord -and that often turns into "here is how you live right" type of conversations and "how to get saved" conversations. I don't know how many prayer meetings I have attended that turned into counseling sessions. Are we there to pray, or to counsel each other to death?

I can't sit here and blame my bossiness on churchianity, I had this issue before I was even a Christian. Do we have to "know it all" to be good Christians? There seems to be a certain amount of accolade given to those who know most about God and who know most about the Spirit. I mean, we go and hear preachers preach... they know something we don't know.

Maybe this is part of the problem - we are chasing knowledge and not relationship.

What would the world be like if the Bride of Christ started listening and caring instead of being overbearing?

What would my relationships be like if I could keep my mouth shut and graciously listen?
From religion to relationship

Speaking with a different dialect.

2011-05-01T13:49:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been in a church service or seminar where the speaker was giving you the "steps to success" and you thought to yourself, "if only I were more like them"? I have come home from such events attempting to duplicate their success strategy, only to find about a week into it that it really doesn't seem to fit. In those moments it's easy to feel like a failure.

David had a similar experience.
I Samuel 17:38-39 (Message)

^38-39 Then Saul outfitted David as a soldier in armor. He put his bronze helmet on his head and belted his sword on him over the armor. David tried to walk but he could hardly budge.

David told Saul, "I can't even move with all this stuff on me. I'm not used to this." And he took it all off.

I don't know how many times in my life I have attempted to help people out with a situation they were having, just to find that the advise I gave them didn't fit. In those moments I was taking the "one size fits all" approach or the "three step" plan approach. Occasionally this was productive to the individual.

I recently attended a 7 Life Languages seminar and was taken back by the different ways people communicate. I knew people were coming from different perspectives due to their personality types, but it did not click that because of those differences in personality, communication could be affected.

I can now see that the issues that I am having at work are all based around this communication gap. I work in a software support department and work with people that are very technical and detail oriented. I, on the other hand, are more creative and more people oriented. This different mix in personality types has caused some major sparks over the last few months.

In regards to communication, it is easier to get along better with people that think like us and act like us. People that are different than us, we wonder what is wrong with them and feel like they aren't communicating properly or understanding.

Too bad that communication isn't a "one size fits all" type of endeavor. Ever been in a discussion with someone where you were both saying the same thing, just using different words? It seems that communication has different dialects.

If you have never taken the 7LL course, I highly recommend it.

Vulnerability

2011-01-16T19:54:00.001-06:00

I just saw this video on Vulnerability that just really spoke deeply to me. Connection is what we are made for and shame is what keeps us from opening up and being open and vulnerable with others. Without vulnerability, there is no true connections, and no real and meaningful relationships.

You really just need to see the video. Vulnerability.

I heard about this talk on The God Journey. If you click the link, it will take you to the podcast The Freedom of Vulnerability.

From religion to relationship,
Heather

Christmas Flame

2010-12-25T11:00:00.000-06:00

Christmas Flame

Born

to us this day,

a baby that compares to

none other in the history of the world.

The human soul had been darkened by sin

and separation but this baby was born straight out of heaven

and came with the ability to birth heaven in us. Because of Jesus,

our once darkened souls can be illuminated with an eternal flame from

the Spirit of God Himself.

Prior to the birth and then death of Jesus, there was no indwelling.

There were the few whom the Holy Spirit would fall on with His power or presence,

but it was not indwelling, it was more like visitation. Because God has invaded

the earth and gained victory over sin and separation we now have the eternal flame of God Himself living on the inside of us.

He LIVES INSIDE US! How amazing!

Colossians 1:27 (The Message)

^26-29This mystery has been kept in the dark for a long time, but now it's out in the open. God wanted everyone, not just Jews, to know this rich and glorious secret inside and out, regardless of their background, regardless of their religious standing. The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you, so therefore you can look forward to sharing in God's glory. It's that simple. That is the substance of our Message. We preach Christ, warning people not to add to the Message. We teach in a spirit of profound common sense so that we can bring each person to maturity. To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less. That's what I'm working so hard at day after day, year after year, doing my best with the energy God so generously gives me.

Why would I want to walk my life in strict adherence to a set of rules, but never take the time to get to know the flame that burns in my soul? We don't just live in the hope of something better on the other side of life, we can live day by day in a living relationship with a living God.

May this year begin the journey of living in concert with the flame of Christ in your heart.

September 11th & Religious Hatred

2010-09-10T23:07:00.000-05:00

I first heard about the news a few days ago. Terry Jones, pastor of Dove World Outreach Center in Florida, designated September 11th as "Burn A Koran Day". This group decided at the last minute to cancel their plans. In the wake of their cancellation, there has been a steady stream of book burning brothers and sisters who have stepped up to the plate. It seems they too agree with the Dove World Outreach Center and the"Burn a Koran Day" bonfire event.

I won't lie to you, initially my response to this was "finally, someone is doing something that demonstrates our contempt for their contempt for us!" Then, I settled down a little and started listening to my heart. "What is this point of this?"

I am saddened to see fellow Christians acting with such hatred. I don't agree with Islam and I think it's in bad taste that they are building a community center/ worship center/ mosque-type-thing so near to the location where Islamic men took down the World Trade Center. In America, they have every right to build anything anywhere they want to.
This blog isn't about legalities, politics, patriotism, America, Afghanistan, or Iraq. It really is a blog questioning the Christian response. I know that these people who have drawn a line in the sand and want to light the torches don't speak for all of the Church, but they are speaking from a group of people who truly believe that hatred is the way to respond.
I recently picked up a book by Darin Hufford called The Misunderstood God and in his book Darin takes our view of God and puts it up against 1 Corinthians 13. As I am reading through this book and looking at this situation I have to ask myself, "whatever happened to love is not rude, or proud, or unkind?" I know that I have been less than kind in certain situations because I felt like I had the "truth" when the opposing party did not.
Love wins everything. -a special video for you - LOVE
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Lord, rend the heavens!

2010-08-12T22:10:00.001-05:00

I was listening to a podcast tonight from Freebelievers & something they said inspired me to write tonight.

"Lord, that you would rend the heavens and come down!"

"Lord, come and visit us with your presence!"

"Show us your manifest presence!"

"Lord, come and fill this place!"

For a number of years I wondered why we would ask God to come down and visit us. I thought the whole idea regarding the incarnation was that He came to live INSIDE of us. If He truly lives on the inside, why am I asking Him to show up and visit me?

Jesus told the disciples that He would be going away, but sending someone GREATER than even Himself! Wow! That thought had to really blow the disciples away, I mean someone better than Jesus? It took them some time to understand. Apparently we still don't understand because we keep asking Him to come.

What if instead of begging, pleading and demanding that He come down for a visit, we looked inside our hearts and said, "hello my friend!"

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Embrace the valley of your journey

2010-08-10T21:43:00.005-05:00

"If she went down there, as far as getting to the High Places was concerned she must lose everything she gained on the journey so far. She would be no nearer receiving the promise than when she started out from the Valley of Humiliation." (Hinds Feet on High Places)

Have you ever experienced this on your journey with God? You're walking along, things seem good and He asks you give up something. It isn't anything evil or immoral, in fact, it may be something that is good or even what some may consider "service" or "ministry" oriented.

Initial conversation goes something like this:
"Whoa Jesus, for real? I mean, You're the one who lead me into this to begin with! Now you are asking me to set this aside, and possibly forever? This has to be the devil! There is no way that Jesus would lead me into this and just when things start to pick up steam tell me to abruptly stop. No way!"

The subsequent conversation goes something like this:
"If God loved me, why would He tell me to break off the relationship, stop leading worship, stop doing my hobby, stop X, stop Y & stop Z? If God knew how much I loved this, or all the works I do for Him because of this, He wouldn't lead me away from it."

After some time, the nudge doesn't go away and the Holy Spirit has even sent confirmation into your life. At that point you have an option on how you will respond. And that is the point where you trust and lay it down, or you continue down that path.

Embrace the pain of your journey and see Him deepen Trust and Love.
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather
Oh, here is a little sister act for you.
I will follow Him

When you pray for patience...

2010-08-09T23:17:00.000-05:00

We have all heard it said, "Don't pray for patience. If you do you will find ample opportunities to practice it!" Any of you who have prayed such a prayer know that that is true. I am beginning to think that the same applies for love.

I have been asking God for a deeper sense of His love, to know His love deeper than what I know it now. I am a little over a year into this process and man, I did not expect this! I have had more misunderstanding in my relationships and deeper offenses in my heart due to those misunderstands than I have ever dealt with in my life! And I thought it was only bad when I prayed for patience!

I have recently picked up Hinds Feet on High Places again to read and as I always find myself with this book, carried away. There is much in this little allegory regarding the love of the Chief Shepherd for his creation, in this case the main character Much Afraid. I love what she says to the Shepherd "help me follow you, even though it seems impossible. Help me to trust you as much as I long to love you."

I believe you can trust without love, but is there love without that element of trust? I don't think you can have true love without a deep sense of trust.

Could this be the reasons all my relationships have been cattywompus here lately? The sense of being out of control isn't always fun, but it produces either 1 of 2 reactions; you either freak out and get into fear, or you let go and chose to trust the Chief Shepherd.

May we all go deeper in love and trust.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The Gospel According to LOVE

2010-08-05T22:35:00.000-05:00

I recently blogged about how fear seems to be the persuasive force in evangelism today. If our God is love, like He says that He is, why isn't that LOVE enough and why do we lean so heavily on the persuasions of fear?

Now, some may argue that a good healthy dose of fear in the beginning of the journey is a good thing. They would say it promotes the fear of God and keeps people on the straight and narrow. Did our parents take that approach with us? If they did, it would have promoted neurosis in us and not that tight bond of love between a parent and a child.

1John 4:7-21

^17-18God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

¹⁹We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

Aren't the ways of love irresistible? It's the fragrance of Christ to a dieing world.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The Gospel According to FEAR

2010-08-05T21:39:00.000-05:00

Having cut my teeth as a Christian in the Baptist denomination, I heard my fair share of sermons about Hell & Salvation. There wasn't a service that went by that there wasn't a call to repentance by the pastor, and many of those included the plea, "come to Jesus or you are going to burn in Hell". In Bible school, I remember hearing them talk about the great sermon by Johnathan Edwards, Sinners in the hands of an Angry God and how some reminisced about the days of the great awakening and long to see them again.

I have done a lot of evangelism in my day. I have taken classes on leading the lost to Christ and have participated in, EE, The Four Spiritual Laws, and even acted in several Human Videos. These methods all were pointing out a need in the person's life and towards the end of the tract or the discussion a decision between heaven and hell were presented.

This is the point in the story when I start feeling like a used car salesman. I can see the potential buyer is feeling conflicted. They can see the two choices, but they are hesitant for whatever reason. This causes me to step in and say "Oh, God has really changed my life! I used to AB&C, but I don't do that anymore and it is all because of God!" Certainly that will seal the deal.

Either one of two things happen at this point. One, they give in and say, "Yes! I want to go to heaven!" or two, in their skepticism they walk way. If they accept heaven, we get them all the information about the church and what they should do next in their walk with this loving Jesus. If they say no and walk away, we leave wondering why they wouldn't want heaven. -I mean, who wouldn't want heaven?

Have we embraced and promoted a gospel of fear? I thought God was love?

In the garden when Adam and Eve fell, they lost one thing that God has actively pursued ever since. Relationship.

From Religion to Relationship.
Heather

A dead end leads to an open door.

2010-06-14T21:43:00.000-05:00

I was reading through some of the blogs I follow today and was really moved by the account I read. It is the account of how simplyrecipes.com came into existence. Elise Bauer had a nice job and enjoyed what she did, but things went down hill quickly due to the dot.com bust & because of some declining health issues. She found herself in a really difficult place and had to move back home.

I love this in her own words - I eventually moved home with my parents in Carmichael, still sick (2 years later), unable to work, and overcome with grief. Well, even if you're sick, you still have to eat. I figured if the powers that be determined that I was going to stay at home for a while, I might as well learn how to cook. And that, my friends, is how Simply Recipes got started. -a link to her story.

This is the classic beauty from ashes story, but it didn't happen over night. She could have stayed living with her parents and decided that to attempt anything was futile, but she didn't! She had a vision, and that vision lead her into learning to cook and blogging her recipes. She is now one of the TOP Food blogs, with 10,000 hits a month!

Great things don't happen without stepping out into the unknown. Where have you stepped lately?

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Taking on the Wild Eyes Adventure

2010-06-13T14:31:00.001-05:00

I read in the news this week about 16 year old Abbey Sunderland and her attempt to be the youngest person to circumnavigate the globe by boat alone. On her blog there is a quote which explains why she set out on this adventure - Here is a link to her blog

Quote: "I had begun to think that dreams are meant to be no more than dreams and that in reality dreams don't come true. Then my brother (Zac) left on his trip. It was amazing to see all the support that he got from around the world and to see how everyone worked together to help make his dream reality. Watching him do this really made me believe that I could too."

I have recently been reading through The Sacred Romance. What I am really enjoying about this book is the way the author talks about living from your heart. Am I living from my heart with all it's passions and adventure, or am I living out of my head with calculated and cautious steps? Though calculations are needed, and I am sure Abby needs those as she navigates her vessel, the thing that got her on the journey and keeps her on the journey is her heart.

The name of her vessel is "Wild Eyes", which I believe really captures the spirit of her heart -adventure!
We are all sailing our vessels through this thing called life. What name captures the spirit of your heart? Is your vessel moved by fear, worry, or anxiety? Would your vessel be called "ye olde worry wort" or"grimmaced outlook"?

It is a sad ending to Abby's story, and if you read the news reports you know what I am talking about. She got into the Indian Ocean and came the midst of an extreme storm. The storm left her vessel damaged and she has had to give up her dream, at least for now. My hat is off to her for even attempting such a remarkable feat!

Do the potential storms, or troubles of this life keep you from even beginning? There have been times in my life when I looked at a possible adventure and declined the journey. I thought I wasn't smart enough, or talented enough, or brave enough to take it on. Every time I have declined an adventure, I have regretted it. This story really inspires me. This girl is just old enough to get her drivers license and she isn't even old enough to vote or join the armed services yet, she had this dream and desire in her heart to be the youngest to sail the seven seas around the world -AND she stepped out to do it!
Two videos for you: Dream on is one of my FAVORITE songs! Hello Hurricane is great too!
Dream On & Hello Hurricane

“May the wind always be on your back and the sun upon your face and may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.” -johnny depp

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

All around me

2010-06-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

I am not going to post anything original tonight. But I want to share the lyrics to a song is speaking to me right now. It was originally done by FlyLeaf, but was recently covered by the David Crowder Band.
This VIDEO really impressed me. Here is also a VIDEO of the original band doing the song.
the lyrics:
"All Around Me"

My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed

Shaking up the house!

2010-06-03T22:45:00.003-05:00

A house. It has structure and things are positioned in an ordered manner. In each room you notice something that stands out, something that signifies meaning for that room. This is pretty common in a house. The bedroom is signified by the bed, the bathroom by the tub & the kitchen by the stove and the fridge.
Theology is like a house and items in each room give definition to those rooms as well.

Since I have left the weekly theological discourse of Sunday morning church life, I have noticed that things in my house of theology have been shifting. It would be nice if it were only a few pieces of furniture being moved, but it is a little more severe than that. It is almost like an earthquake has tossed the place! The shake up has caused some discomfort as I have been forced to reconsider things that I had long taken as gospel gold.

For so long I leaned on the understanding of the "learned ones" and didn't go to God for myself and ask Him what He was really like. I no longer have to accept what "the church", or other believers believe as the absolute and final say and I can now hear the Holy Spirit for myself. The last time I checked, this was about a person and not about knowledge or doctrine.

I used to hide behind doctrine and theology, but they were never a home for me. A house and a home are two different things entirely. You can have a roof over your head, 3 square meals a day and no love -that is a house. You can have a roof over your head, 3 square meals a day and love -that is a home.

John 14
²³Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him²⁴He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
²⁵"All this I have spoken while still with you. ²⁶But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I love this. He says He has come to make His home with us. Even though the apple cart of my theology is tussled about, I find that very comforting right now.
Enjoy these videos: THIS IS HOME & throwback.. Burning down the house.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

How Facebook is like Church

2010-06-02T22:29:00.001-05:00

I have to admit it, though I wished I could say it weren't true. I have "friended" people on Facebook out of sheer curiosity of how their life turned out. Sometimes it has been with friendships that I fell out of touch, and other times it was with the classmate that I had two years of gym with, or was in the chorus with. Facebook has provided a window of opportunity -so to speak, to see into the lives of others.

In some cases, Facebook has restored lost relationships and strengthened others. In other cases it was simply out of curiosity I allowed a "friend" request. Then for some -it is a means to an end, I am friends with you because you may be friends with someone that I REALLY want to be friends with. The reality of the last point there really hit home when I started getting a lot of "friend" requests from old high school classmates.

I have over 300 "friends" on Facebook, but can I really be in relationship with that many people? The question is, would I really want to be??

I would consider my facebook "300" to be how church life was like for me when I was still in the institutional church.

Being "friends" with someone on Facebook is, for the most part, a lackadaisical experience. Facebook even helps by giving you tips and hints! I found it the same within the institutional church. I was "friends" with the people in the church, but only as long as I kept attending the church and participating in the activities within. As soon as I left, so did the "friendships".

You could see things going on in the lives of those whom you shared a pew with each week. The message would move someone to tears,repentance, or the holy ghost would move on them and they would hoop and holler. Perhaps you even interacted with them on some level and maybe even joined in with them. But, at the end of the day, there really is little relationship at all. The only relationship that takes place is what you experience together on a given Sunday, very little happens outside of that medium -just like Facebook.

Isn't it all about relationship?

I can count on both hands and with both feet the number of dear friends that I have. Out of this group of 20 or so, I would go out of my way to help them & I feel they would do the same for me. Out of that group about half are a little closer and within that group, there are maybe 2 I would consider to be my "sisters". These are real relationships & they exist outside of Facebook & outside of the four walls of a church building. They are REAL.

If your relationships do not exist outside of facebook, or the four walls of the church you attend every week, then ask God to bring you some real friends.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Losing my Religion

2010-05-17T20:50:00.000-05:00

In the system, I was taught to read my Bible and pray everyday first thing every morning in order to prepare myself for the day. In the system, I was taught that if you just worship God -with your whole heart- that your situation will get better. In the system, I was taught the man with the microphone was never to be questioned.
WELL:
I have questions.
The questions I have make me realize that I was blindly following along with most of what was being said by pastors and teachers. This is neither wise, or being a good disciple. As Christians we don't check our minds at the door when we enter a church building. We worship God with our minds as well as our spirit.
I read an interesting article regarding The Battle for Your Mind. I highly recommend reading it, it talks hypnosis techniques used in the church.

Well, the question remains: how much of this is stuff that I was doing before was driven by fear or obligation as opposed to love of God?

I hope you enjoy this video REM-Losing My Religion

From religion to relationship,
Heather

Detoxing from bad religion

2010-05-15T22:06:00.000-05:00

I have been out of the organized religion box for almost 2 years now. If a word could be used to signify this time in my life, it would be -detoxification.
Detoxing is a process of getting impurities out of the body.
The longer I am out of the system, the more and more I see that I was blindly accepting everything that the "man with the microphone" had to say. Theology becomes a way of life and there is no longer any living from the heart, but only living by rules and regulations. Sermons on living the "principled life" abounded and I took it all hook, line and sinker. The Word is still the Word, and the truth is still the truth, but I want to be living and moving out of love and not out of obligation.
Detoxing from a human "doing" and transitioning back to a human "being" has had it's ups and downs. That is why I have been so sporadic with my blog posts for the past few months.

If love is the highest command, why am I striving to live according to law?

Detoxing from bad religion means living in the higher way of love.

From religion to relationship,
Heather

Legalism: The Golden Goose

2010-03-07T09:11:00.001-06:00

This post today, comes from a dream I had last night.
In the fable of "The Goose who laid the Golden eggs" a couple own a goose who daily lays a golden egg for them. They become greedy and are sure that the goose must be full of gold. So, they decide to kill the goose and extract all the gold. When they kill the goose, they find there is no gold at all on the inside.
When I gave my heart to Jesus, I was sincere in following after Him. Yet, it didn't take long for me to start down the road of "works" instead of "grace". This legalism continued in my life until I got spirit filled.
The Baptism of the Holy Spirit brought me back to relationship with Christ and away from "works". This again, only lasted a short while as I found myself pulled back into legalism. I actually found that those who are of the charismatic persuasion were much more legalistic than those who were in traditional churches.
It seems like a bait and switch tactic. We are happy having tasted from the tree of life & enjoy the freedom and fullness we experience from knowing Him. But then the voices come to us and say that we must now start doing our "work" and we are taken over to the tree of knowledge. Knowing what is right and wrong, and doing what is right is made the primary focus.
It seems in the Christian life, we are much more happy to lop off the branches that produce bad fruit than we are allowing the Spirit of God to get to the root. Going after the branches & bad fruit ourselves is an attempt to deal with sin ourselves & puts our faith in ourselves, allowing the Spirit of God to get to the root of the problem is living under grace, living from the tree of life & puts our faith in Him.
When we are living under legalism and depending on our own efforts to control sin we are the golden goose. The only one who can destroy sin is Jesus. If we are putting our hope in anything else we will be disappointed.
In the fable, they kill the golden goose to find that there is no gold on the inside. In a similar way, we must put to death the works of the flesh and allow the Spirit of God to change us from the inside out. Otherwise, season after season we will keep having to remove the bad fruit in our lives.
Here is a great song about living from the inside out. Everlasting

The Heart of Valentine

2010-02-14T10:51:00.002-06:00

So, I lay in bed one morning recently talking with the Lord. I was talking to Him about life, about my attitude and other things. I then considered fasting through breakfast. That thought survived about 3 minutes. -it felt too contrived, and it felt as though I were trying to prove something to the Lord… so I dropped that like a hot potato!-

I was running a little late, so I figured I would do the morning ritual of Starbucks. I got in line at the drive through and put in my order – a latte & spinach wrap and waited for my turn to pay. I got to the window and pulled out the cash to exchange for my breakfast when the lady at the window said that the car ahead of me paid for my order.

Dumbfounded, I took my drink and wrap thanking the lady at the window and drove away.
I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I thanked the Lord & with teary eyes made my way to the office.

I have asked the Lord here of late for a deeper revelation of His love. I think this little surprise was one of His ways of answering that prayer.

It is not about just knowing the ways of Valentine, but about His heart for us.

HE is a lover. =)
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

How Close to His Heart?

2010-02-10T21:20:00.004-06:00

You will probably notice it has been a while since I posted anything. I took a little time away to evaluate my relationship with God. There is a dismantling that is happening within my heart. The guys at The God Journey really put it well when they say "Gratefully Disillusioned".
There is a Disillusionment that comes when you have spent a good portion of your life inside a system that you find no longer works.
I didn't realize how much the institution prompted me to trust in others over God. The pastor is exalted, leadership is exalted & there was very little discussion about staying in tune and following the leading of the Holy Spirit in your own life.
It is sad, but in evaluating my own life I find it the hardest thing to go to God first with things troubling my heart. With things in my life the past few months, I can easily say there have been things troubling me.
"How close am I with You Lord?"
In my Charismatic days I was encouraged to proclaim and declare God's word back to Him for every situation of my life. I became pretty good about taking the scriptures and throwing them up to heaven. It was almost like we were all lawyers, and as long as we knew the verses we wanted to claim, we could in faith proclaim whatever we thought was His will.
I am disillusioned with this process. Why? Because it is a process and doesn't necessarily indicate relationship.
I am not a close to God as I hope to be, but I am on the journey to His heart.
I hope these musings are helpful in your journey.
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Produce much fruit.

2009-12-07T11:44:00.004-06:00

My nose is in several different books right now. One is on my phone, which enables me to pick it up and read it anywhere I find myself with some down time. The book on my phone is Andrew Murray's "The True Vine". There are several sites from which you can download this to your phone, you can also pick up a paperback real cheap at most bookstores. It is set up in easy to read segments and is pithy, making it an excellent choice to read on the go.

I am brought back over and over again in this season of my life the importance of soaking in God's presence. Yesterday I picked up this book called "The New Mystics" and randomly opened up to read about Heidi Baker. It talks about how she struggled for years to get two churches off the ground in Africa, but after going to Toronto and getting blasted by the Spirit of God for seven days she returned to Africa and things exploded! She has now seen 7,000 churches raised up and her ministry to the orphans and the poor has grown exponentially. She soaks for hours in the presence of the Lord before she even starts her day, where as before she may have run around trying to do it all in her own strength.

We are on the earth to produce good fruit. We can strive and strain to produce just one or two pieces of fruit, or we can submit ourselves to God and He can grow a vineyard with our lives.

A website that is wonderful for soaking music is SWAP. I highly recommend you take some time to soak to some of the music on the site (as you can go in and sample lots of the music for free!) And, of course if you find some music you like.. support the artist and buy it! =)

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

A deeper Capacity

2009-12-06T20:23:00.003-06:00

Thick as pea soup, the mist and fog hang over the city tonight. Because of the arctic air that has pushed into Texas fewer people are driving by my apartment this evening. I am enjoying the extra quiet atmosphere here in my apartment due to the fewer drivers driving by.
I am listening to Misty Edwards Unplugged. This is such an intimate CD, really good for soaking time with the Lord. I love all the songs on this CD, but this one I want to share this evening - Like a Rushing River.
I hope you take the time to listen to the song, it is beautiful in it's longing expression. What does it really mean to long for the Lord? I looked up the definition of "long" on dictionary.com & it gives the following definition: to have an earnest or strong desire or craving; yearn.
I must confess that my heart isn't always longing or yearning for the Lord, but I want a deeper capacity of His presence in my daily life. I am reading a book for a class I am taking called "Dialogue with God". If you click the title it will take you find out more information. This book is giving me insight into how to sharpen my ability to hear and communicate with God.
It is difficult to develop a deeper relationship with anyone if communication is strained or difficult. So far, I find that this is really increasing my ability to confidently hear the voice of God & respond.
After all, it is all about relationship and you cannot have relationship without communication.
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Face to Face.

2009-11-29T09:31:00.004-06:00

I am currently reading a book called "Dialogue with God". I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels like they cannot hear the voice of God. Written in easy to read language and chocked full of the Bible to back it all up, this book is a great foundational tool for anyone wanting to hear God's voice!

I am highlighting this book today because of something he says in the book. "God has impressed deep within my heart that I will either accept living out of a relationship with Him or I will live out of a list of laws."

A point he makes in the book is that God has always wanted relationship with His people. We see this back in the Old Testament when Moses God wanted the people to come to Him face to face. They instead asked Moses to go for them and hear God for them. It is the same way today.

Week after week Christians will line the chairs of their local churches and await to hear what the "Man of God" heard God tell him for them that week. It is the same in traditional churches as well as spirit filled congregations. The people in the pews try to live holy lives, by the letter of the law & they leave the face to face stuff to the pastor. "Go and hear God for us".

Doesn't God still want face to face with us? Knowledge doesn't lead to hearing His voice. I can attest to this, I am a graduate of a Charismatic Bible school & when I left I wasn't hearing His voice any better than when I went in. I had more in my head, but my heart was lacking.

I believe God wants face to face with all of us. He wants to reveal His secrets to us, but to know the secrets of His heart we have to get close enough to hear Him whisper.
My Soul Longs for You Lord!

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Stirrings for the lost

2009-10-31T12:24:00.004-05:00

About two weeks I heard a teaching that has really rocked my world. Since I was new christian back in the early 90's I felt that things with this world would be coming to an end in my lifetime. Now I am thirty and until that teaching about two weeks ago I was beginning to think it would be possibly another 30 years. I am now convinced otherwise.
I am not going to get into all the details, as it would take about 20+ posts to give you some good evidence. I will point you to Dr. Joel Young's video site. I believe the teaching Fifth Feast is one of the sets of videos that goes into his perspective on the end times. I HIGHLY recommend you check it out. He goes for a long time when he teaches, but I promise you will not be bored!!!!!! -and that says a lot because I get bored rather quickly-

My heart is really stirred today with the thoughts about the lost. Jesus doesn't want to lose anyone to the fires of Hell. He wants them to know they can live in a wonderful relationship with Him & have peace and love like they have never known possible.
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Clouds of not enough

2009-10-08T20:00:00.003-05:00

There used to be a cloud that would follow over my life. Some would tell you that the cloud is half full, because it inspired you to do more and be more. Yet there are others who would tell you the cloud is half empty, because they saw that it leads to treadmill living and promotes discontent. I have come to see that the silver lining this cloud brings is all but an illusion.

I call these clouds, "The clouds of not enough."

There is a teaching in modern Christianity that if you are lacking in an area of your life, it is due to something lacking in your performance. If you need finances, simply give more. If you need a miracle, pray for others who need miracles. If you need healing, step up the Bible meditation. Some would say something is lacking with your performance and/or something is lacking in your faith.

I have a good friend that I talk with about relationships a lot. Well, better put, the lack of relationships -aka, no boyfriend. ;) And we discuss why we haven't found the right person yet and why it's taking so long! "Certainly it is because I still have all these outstanding issues." Is one thing I hear over and and over and over again as I talk with my friends about relationships. "I better get in gear and get my finances in order; get my body in shape; dress more attractive; be more personable; talk less; talk more; stop gossiping; work out more; be more compassionate...." This list is never ending!

This cloud of not enough would follow me into every area of my life & how it really affected my relationship with God! I never felt like He was pleased with my performance & I never felt safe around Him because of my failures.

The heat permeating from the eyes of a God who is in love with my heart started melting away those clouds a little over two years ago. It is less about my perfection, it is less about my performance & it is all about His faithfulness.

For those of you who know me, you know I am not promoting irresponsible living. What I am promoting here is this thought: Does God love me only when I am getting it all right, or does HE love me regardless of my fumbling ways?

Allow the heat that permeates from His heart to melt away the clouds of not enough.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Praying about praying

2009-10-07T21:00:00.000-05:00

After a wonderful time hiking and enjoying nature I went back to the cabin. It was around 3pm. I decided to go ahead and get the grill fired and cook my dinner. I cooked up some steak and salmon & it was succulent coming off the grill! I savored ever bite of it!

I finished eating and picking up my mess and finally settled in to spend some more time with the Lord. I am asking God about prayer, telling Him I really don't understand prayer very well. *Which is funny, because I was praying ;)* I picked up my Bible to read how Jesus taught us to pray. Matthew 6 talks about praying simply. I was reading in the message and so I will share some from the message:

5"And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

6"Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

7-13"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Now, before I get the emails about the Message being a paraphrase and not a study Bible, please hear me out.
I had asked God to help me understand prayer better and He leads me to this passage on praying simply! It was probably one of the fastest responses to a prayer I have gotten from God ever!

The two things over the course of the weekend were: removal of burdens and praying simply. No revelations from heaven. No choruses of angels ushering me into the throne room and no scenes from the book "The Shack".

Just Father God meeting with His daughter and revealing more of His love and character to her.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The Shack

2009-10-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

My plan was to get there by 4pm. I didn't arrive until closer to 7pm. When I pulled up I was a little disappointed as the cabin was a lot closer to the road than I had hoped. I unloaded all my gear and went inside & found that it was very cozy. What the outside lacked in isolation, the inside made up for in coziness.

After a trip to the store to pick up some forgotten necessities, I settled down on the couch in the living area. After dinner I sipped some hot tea and read a little. I was in my bed ready to sleep before 1000pm. I slept peacefully and without dreams to awaken around 8:30 the next morning.

I got myself together and went into the Beaver's Bend for a little hiking. I love to be in nature & my hike provided the perfect opportunity to really enjoy the scenery. This trail took me up a ridge line and down to a pretty little creek. I walked along the creek for some time just enjoying the way the light was coming down through the trees in what looked like spotlights from heaven. When I was a child I used to pretend when the light poured through the clouds in shafts that it was God putting His spotlight down on us.

The trail then headed back up the ridge line and up on the top of the ridge there was a nice stone bench one could sit on. I took off my backpack and stood enjoying the beauty when I heard the Lord say He was going to remove my burdens. Now, when God speaks to me, it isn't usually a booming voice from the sky or anything like that. When God speaks to me it is normally through a knowing in my heart, or a still small voice. The words were intriguing to me and the resonated within my Spirit.

Not everything that we think in our heads is from the Holy Spirit, but when there is a resonance in our hearts, it's likely that is God speaking. Some may call it a gut feeling, or maybe intuition, but I call it the voice of God.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Cabin time

2009-10-05T21:04:00.003-05:00

On the tail end of my sabbatical I decided to get out of town and go somewhere I could be alone with the Lord and enjoy nature. I decided to rent a cabin for two nights near Beaver's Bend in Oklahoma.

If you had told me a few years ago that I was going to make a weekend getaway all by myself, I would have thought you were crazy! I have always been a highly sociable person, so for me to take this trip now and really enjoy myself was remarkable! God has really brought me into some balance in that area.

I didn't really know what to expect on this outing. I learned after planning the trip that my get away was at the beginning of the Jewish New Year - Rosh Hashanah.

I am not Jewish, other than being grafted into the vine, and don't normally observe the Jewish holidays. But it was a little more than coincidental that my time away for reflection and spending time with God was during the season where the sheep pass under the shepherd's rod.

A lot filled my head as I drove, which is one reason it took so long to get there. I got about one third of the way there and discovered I left all my food at home in the igloo. Once I got there, I was surprised.
------------ to be continued.......
From Religion to Relationship,
HEather

When you sign off of facebook.

2009-10-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

So, what is so grand about taking three weeks away from your friends & facebook? In my case it proved to provide some amazing insights, but probably not in the way you would think.

I won't lie when I say I was hoping for some amazing, heavenly choir singing sort of God experience. That isn't quite what happened. God used that period to show me more about myself. I was appalled at some of it!

Sorry, won't be sharing it with my blogging audience. I will say this though, I am thankful I took the fast so that I could see the truth about myself in these areas. I don't know if I would have seen the junk if I had not slowed down enough for God to speak.

Slowing down is a huge key. When you turn off the TV, sign off of Facebook, put your phone on silent mode & tune into the Spirit of God it is remarkable how He speaks!

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Three weeks

2009-09-30T21:00:00.000-05:00

Three weeks sounded like such a long time. And it did take some getting used to. The first week was the hardest. I was not talking on the phone to my friends, or meeting up with them to hang out. I wasn't even allowing myself on Facebook!

My companion through these three weeks was the Lord & a book by Jean Guyon called "Experiencing the depths of Jesus Christ." I got through the first three or four chapters of her book by the end of my fast. It truly was a wonderful way to help me focus in on the Lord. For any of you who have not heard of this book it is simply remarkable! You can check it out Jean Guyon.

I found it quite refreshing to have this time alone and that really surprised me! I honestly didn't think I would have such serenity in my three weeks, but it was so wonderfully peaceful.

It is something I highly recommend to everyone.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

I don't get it.

2009-09-29T21:46:00.003-05:00

"I don't get it." I said to God. This has been my prayer off and on for some time now as things in my life seem to grow more and more complicated. This time it was said with complete frustration and a loud voice. "I don't get it!"

It was at this point that I decided that I needed to do something drastic. Everything in my world up to that point felt too out of control and way too stressful. So, I decided to take a three week people fast & get away for a weekend.

I have always been the sanguine one, the one who loved being around others and hated being alone. So for me to make a decision to force myself into loneliness was huge.

Now, since I work in an office all day I couldn't do a complete people fast. For the three week period that I was on my fast I only interacted with my family & with the people I worked with. My friends were all notified that I would not be calling them back or hanging out with them for three weeks.

It was well worth the time!

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Thirsty like never before

2009-08-25T22:17:00.002-05:00

I have become a huge fan of the movie Ben Hur. I had never seen it before, and unlike most people I have seen in in reverse. The DVD that I borrowed is double sided and I watched the second half first. Needless to say I was surprised when I sat down, ready for a 4 hour flick to find it was over at an hour and a half!

There is one scene in Ben Hur that speaks volumes to me. I do hope you watch it because then you will see what I mean.

In this scene Judah Ben Hur, played by Charlton Heston, has lost everything. He is now being paraded across the desert to die a slow death as a slave on a ship where he almost meets his end, until Jesus comes.

Oh, the scene is remarkable, not over or under played in any way. I could feel the thirst and hunger in a profound way, not just because of the acting or lights or music, but because my heart identified with it.

Life is sometimes like the dry, wind-blown desert and our hearts become dry, cracked and frail. Just when we think we can't take it anymore, that is the very moment that Jesus comes. He lifts up our heads and strokes our hair, he then pours the life giving water of His presence into our sun scorched mouths and we are refreshed, strengthened and our hopes are restored.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

When you're going through hell

2009-08-23T18:03:00.002-05:00

When you feel misunderstood or totally misrepresented it is easy to feel the need for recompense & vengeance. I was with some friends earlier this week and we were praying about some things. During our prayer time I had a vision & to say the least God was giving me a picture of what was going on in my heart & all I can say is I was appalled!

The song Surround Me really speaks to me in this place. Can you tell I am a fan of Creed? =)

This has been churning in my heart for quite some time. I used to really get down on myself because it seemed to take me so long to resolve things in my heart. Isn't it all about the process though? I don't think God is up in heaven upset with me because the process is in process -or even when the process is at a stand still for the moment.

I give myself more grace than I used to. As for the things He is currently working me through, it's a process and I am coming out.

Another good song for this is When you're going through hell.
This song makes me smile and laugh!
Hope you enjoy it too.
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Not alone

2009-08-23T17:45:00.003-05:00

I really enjoy the music of Jason Upton. He has a reality to his music that speaks deeply to my heart. The song that is really getting my heart right now is Not Alone. I hope you click on the words not alone and check out the video.

It isn't for lack of friendship or activities that bring up the loneliness. You can have people around you all the time and still feel terribly alone.

I think I am also still processing through living alone. I have had the fortune of having roommates most of my adult life, it has been an adjustment these past few months.

In the Word, He promises to never leave me or to forsake me. This brings some comfort to my heart in times of loneliness. It's all a daily process to be walked out in His grace.
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Dear Friends

2009-08-16T19:42:00.003-05:00

On August 11, 2008 me and a group of friends took the leap out of "churchianity" and into relational living. It has been an interesting ride to say the least!
"Why take the leap when there are tons of wonderful churches you could be attending?" I am glad you asked!
At the time of departure I had been in the "church" since Jr High School. And not just "in", but involved on a very committed level -attending classes, leading worship etc...
Bible school was probably the best thing to happen for me as it started to peel away my romance with the structure & began having my doubts about the way things went in local church life. That really opened my eyes to see that "ministry" was nothing more than a means of manipulating people into either "getting in line with the program" (and that program is all dependent on the mission statement of that church -not necessarily your individual calling) or "getting their act straight for God." This is a rather broad statement I know, but it is where I was last year.

There were also other things I had seen before but had always dismissed them. I had seen people leave the church and no one reach out to them. I would see others leave the church, feeling the pull of God to another church and getting the cold shoulder from the very ones who said they were all one big "happy family." It seemed more like a "members only club." The ticket in is your butt on a pew every sunday & your commitment to the expressed goals of the pastor.

Is this really what Jesus died for? So we could influence each other in the walls of the church? So I could give 10 hours a week to my local church enriching the lives of the members of that congregation? By the time I left my last church, I was doing just that. In order for me to minister within the walls of the church I was at church 10 hours a week -count sunday mornings... count commute time to the location.. & count the class time. No wonder I was so tired!

I just got tired of it all, & apparently my friends did too. So we all decided to live the christian life relationally instead of congregationally.

It's been a year. The devil hasn't eaten me for lunch... I haven't fallen into gross sin... I haven't turned my back on God and I am not in rebellion.
It's been a year of growth, of confidence building, of deeper sincerity of heart, of deeper relationships and higher creativity.

It hasn't been easy. It's easier to go to a location where they hand you manufactured "presence experiences" than to seek God on your own. Thankfully I am not alone and there are times where we as a group have God times. Just Saturday night we had "church" it was a birthday party that had fellowship, encouragement and genuine sharing. It was wonderful.

It's been a year and I am enjoying the journey. For those who haven't heard much about my journey I wanted to post some background for you tonight. I hope I encouraged you.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The days of 10 virgins

2009-07-23T22:29:00.003-05:00

I was with a group of friends a couple of weeks ago and we were discussing the things that are happening in the world and with the economy. I said, these are the days of the 10 virgins with the lamps. MATTHEW 25
Matthew 25:1-13 (New International Version)

Matthew 25:1-13 (The Message)

Matthew 25
The Story of the Virgins
1-5 "God's kingdom is like ten young virgins who took oil lamps and went out to greet the bridegroom. Five were silly and five were smart. The silly virgins took lamps, but no extra oil. The smart virgins took jars of oil to feed their lamps. The bridegroom didn't show up when they expected him, and they all fell asleep.

6"In the middle of the night someone yelled out, 'He's here! The bridegroom's here! Go out and greet him!'
7-8"The ten virgins got up and got their lamps ready. The silly virgins said to the smart ones, 'Our lamps are going out; lend us some of your oil.'
9"They answered, 'There might not be enough to go around; go buy your own.'
10"They did, but while they were out buying oil, the bridegroom arrived. When everyone who was there to greet him had gone into the wedding feast, the door was locked.
11"Much later, the other virgins, the silly ones, showed up and knocked on the door, saying, 'Master, we're here. Let us in.'
12"He answered, 'Do I know you? I don't think I know you.'
13"So stay alert. You have no idea when he might arrive.

There are so many distractions in our world today. Things that pull us away from the quiet place, the secret place.

God capture my heart to stillness with You once again.
AS IN THE DAYS OF NOAH

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

What is life without dancing?

2009-07-22T21:43:00.005-05:00

I heard this song in a movie recently -I hope you dance
It is such a wonderful song about hope and about life. "Don't let the hell-bent heart leave you bitter.." is one of the stanzas in the song. I must confess that resentment and bitterness are easy proclivities of my heart. When I am holding things in like that, I have a hard time letting go and living free.
At the end of the day, is anything worth the time and energy that bitterness requires? Bitterness sucks energy out of your bones and vitality out of your heart, leaving you sour like a pickle -which in turn makes you even more angry and bitter.
To shake off bitterness and live in the freedom of forgiveness is such a wonderful thing. Walking it out is what I am learning every day on this journey.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Staycation

2009-07-21T21:52:00.002-05:00

I took a few days off as a mini vacation. The term stay-cation is thrown around a lot for mini vacations that consist of travel less than 100 miles from your house. My stay-cation was very nice and here is a run down on the events. =)
FRIDAY:
I opened my DBA with the county for my business.
Protested the push for Socialized medicine.
Hung out with friend in the pool & then watching a stupid movie. Then another friend came over and we watched another movie.
SATURDAY:
Nothing. I chilled all day and watched 3 movies.
SUNDAY:
I cleaned for a get together at my place. The get together didn't work out, so I met up with a friend for a late lunch and then watched some movies. The fun thing about Sunday is that I ran into a lady I used to work with. She pulled up behind me at a stop light. We hung out for a few minutes catching up and exchanged numbers so we could do some things together in the future.
MONDAY:
I had a blast hanging out with Alicia and David. They were in the area to see his family. We traveled to downtown Grapevine and walked through their downtown for a short bit. WE then traveled on to the Dallas World Aquarium. After that we went on the Mckinney Avenue Trolley & ended our lovely day at Babe's Chicken!

It was a well needed change of pace. When I awoke for work this morning I was refreshed and ready to take on my day.
A little down time is needed every now and then for rejuvenation of the soul.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Need to breathe

2009-07-15T21:28:00.002-05:00

Air is of vital importance to the human body. For without oxygen the body cannot live. Having had asthma most of my life, I am acutely aware of this. If I am having a difficult time breathing it effects every part of my life. When I am not getting the oxygen I need I find myself tired, stressed, confused and in a fog.

A parallel can be developed here with the Christian walk. For the believer, to walk in the Spirit is to breathing in the natural. When I am walking with Him I find myself walking in confidence and strength. When I am walking on my own, I find myself in a fog and confused.

Breathe you in

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The kind of rest we need

2009-07-14T22:07:00.004-05:00

I am all about my sleep. If I get less than six hours of sleep at night I find myself in a fog all day long the next day.
Rest.
"Come to me all you who are burdened and I will give you rest."

I love how the Message translation puts this verse:
Matthew 11:28 (The Message)

28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

What an invitation!

I am reminded of the book, "Hinds Feet on Hinds Places". If you haven't had the joy of reading this wonderful analogous tale, you would enjoy it. In the book the character, is learning how to walk with Jesus. He is so gentle and so kind with her and by keeping in His company she certainly learned to live freely and lightly.

Living freely and lightly is the kind of rest we all need.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Keeping in Straight

2009-07-13T21:37:00.005-05:00

Slippin' and sliddin' on an ice-cream puddle at Stonebriar mall is not an ideal situation. I now have a bruise the size of an orange on my left ribs. I am just thankful that it is just a bruise and nothing was broken.

Over the next couple of days I could feel my body was out of whack. My neck was tight and my shoulders were kind of achy, my body was telling me something was out of kilter. Thankfully I already had a chiropractic appointment scheduled for today!

I was unaware how out of whack my back was until I went to the chiropractor. After some good snap, crackle and popping I felt as good as new! Keeping everything straight is important to a proper functioning body. If the spine is off, the rest of the body will be off.

It would be akin to the frame of your car being bent. If it is bent, you will notice that a certain tire wears faster than the others, or the car pulls to one side regardless of tire balance.

This applies spiritually as well.

If I am keeping in the vine, the branch will be fruitful. If I remain in Him, then my life will bear that fruit. If I am not keeping things straight, then I find my life starts going askew.
May we all remain in Him.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Inspiration

2009-07-08T22:48:00.004-05:00

I am totally a Sanguine. I am very much moved by my emotions and sometimes this is good and sometimes this is not so good. When I get inspired, I really get inspired! When that inspiration hits, I realize that I have to act on it.

Wasted inspiration does no one any good.

Inspiration that is just mulled over and never acted upon doesn't do any good either.

Inspiration is supposed to be a motivator, something that pulls us out of our day in and day out living, and into a realm of possibilities.

To quote my favorite movie -"Give me any word and I will give you the Greek meaning." Inspiration comes from the Greek word: Theopneustos which means “God-breathed”

God breathed. Wow!

I want to encourage you next time you have that moment where you are dreaming bigger than your reality, take the bull by the horns and run with it!
The thing you launch into may very well indeed be God breathing into your soul!

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

How fast

2009-07-07T21:23:00.004-05:00

I read an article today regarding how the Pope is proposing that there needs to be a chief person over the whole world financial system. He thinks this will keep people from coming into financial ruin. All I could think of while I read the article is how back in the feudal days the serfs would tend to the masters land. I fear that is very well what would happen should he get his wish.

You can read the article here: POPE

In the last days there will be the requirement of all to take a mark in order to sell or buy. Not to be an alarmist, but I see the Pope's suggestion turning into such a thing.

Hearing the voice of God for ourselves is impertinent in living in these days. If you can only hear the voice of God through your pastor, or through your spouse, or the prophets or even those leaders on TV, then I recommend getting close to the heart of the Master. He wants to speak to us. Will we draw close to Him to hear His voice?

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Freedom

2009-07-06T22:10:00.004-05:00

It has been a few days since I posted. I was enjoying the Fourth of July and the extra day off it afforded.
Growing up in a small rural community I came to have a huge pride for the country that I live in. I was reminded of the sacrifice that was made for me to live in this free nation as I sat in the grass and watched the fireworks go off over head. In the backgroundProud to be an American was music to my ears.
I am reminded of my uncle Jack who fought in Vietnam, and of the countless heroes that paid the ultimate price, never to return home.

Christ went to the war-zone for us and paid the ultimate price for us. Unlike those who paid the ultimate price and were buried on foreign soil, our God triumphed victoriously and death had no hold on Him!

Freedom!
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Vine and Branches

2009-07-01T20:05:00.005-05:00

I have been reading Andrew Murray's The Vine. The branch is grafted into the vine and a remarkable thing occurs, the vine sucks the branch in and grows up into the branch. We are in Him. This is due to no striving, no performance or goodness on our part. He sucks up the branch and then the vine grows up into the branch.

We get grafted in. He pulls us into Himself & at the same time He is growing His life in us. If the branch will simply be the branch, the vine will draw the branch close and infuse it with life.

I am meditating on this..

Here is a song that I just love... You are I AM

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

One size fits all?

2009-06-29T21:54:00.003-05:00

I recently moved into my own place, and I have to say I love it! I love the layout and the space is cozy for me. The thing I get comments on the most with my new place is the ceiling. It's not the popcorn ceiling you see in some apartments, it's not even that swirly texture stuff either. I have a ceiling that is wood paneled in this neat white wash. I think it's very cool and it fits my personality and furniture so perfectly!
I have other friends who have moved in the past few months and they have places that fit their personalities perfectly. All the apartments and houses have their own style and features that are unique and they fit the people that live in them very well.
Jesus comes to make His home in us.
John 14:22-24 (Amplified Bible)

22Judas, not Iscariot, asked Him, Lord, how is it that You will reveal Yourself [make Yourself real] to us and not to the world?

23Jesus answered, If a person [really] loves Me, he will keep My word [obey My teaching]; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home (abode, special dwelling place) with him.

24Anyone who does not [really] love Me does not observe and obey My teaching. And the teaching which you hear and heed is not Mine, but [comes] from the Father Who sent Me.

Religion comes out at you with a "one size fits all" mentality. The modern Church is telling people to build their homes in a tract home standard build. Do your Prayers and your Bible studies and your small groups and don't forget to give your tithe and have fellowship.... for THIS is how you know God.

I am all about being faithful, but more often than not that is all we hear. You have to perform for God to hear you and respond to you. I just don't buy that!

He creates a home in us. What is more relational than a home?

Is relationship with Christ really one size fits all? OR is it individual and relational?

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

What Religion does

2009-06-25T22:40:00.004-05:00

I have a relative that I love dearly. If you tell her "Jesus loves you", you might as well be cursing at her. You see, she was severely abused in a religious environment growing up and so she wants nothing to do with religion.

When I was younger I would try to get her to go with me to church, and she would have nothing to do with it. I would try to talk with her about God and relationship with Him and she didn't want to hear it.

The more religious I got in my living, the bigger the distance that came between us.

There is a lie that comes to explain that "they just aren't where I am spiritually." So this elitist mentality comes and pride blinds the eyes to the truth.

Now that I am out of the "club" I am getting along a lot better with this relative. I no longer believe it's up to me to get them into a church service to see them saved. I am called simply to love them.

Isn't that what it's all about?

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Take life by the horns!

2009-06-24T12:49:00.002-05:00

I was cruzing at lunch today listening to the radio. The customers I have been dealing with have been melting my brain! I just had to get out of the office for a little bit. A song came on that I just really dig. If today was your last day -by Nickelback. There is a verse in the old testiment that fits with this. Proverbs 11:6 6 Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.
Sometimes I allow the situations of life to push me down to a point of inactivity and depression. Inactivity is a terrible place to live. There are times where we rest, inactivity is not the same as abiding and resting in God. It's the day by day walking with God that this song reminds me of.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do right now!

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

A Neglected Heart

2009-06-22T21:59:00.003-05:00

I have discovered that I am prone to freaking out. I have found that the level of freaking out all depends on where I am living. Am I living in the heart of God, or have I set up camp somewhere else?

If you are camping in a state park that is surrounded by barbed wire and has park rangers patrolling it, you will feel rather safe sleeping in your tent. But, if you are camping out in the middle of nowhere that's known for it's grizzly bears, there is cause for some trepidation.
In the first scenario you are covered. In the second scenario you had better have a gun with you!

A neglected heart is open to all unnecessary wounding from situations and the devil himself. I have neglected Father's heart here of late, and neglected my own. The parable of the sower I believe speaks to the issue of tending to the heart. Is my heart stony or shallow or crowded or is it fertile? I hope He finds it fertile.
Check out the video below.

Awaken Me -Misty Edwards
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

A fish out of water.........

2009-06-18T21:41:00.003-05:00

For the first time tonight I went to a dance class. Now, I have done dance classes before, but they were partner dances. This class was a lyrical modern class. I felt way out of my league!

I felt like Kung Fu Panda when he faced the furious 5 for the first time. They were kicking it all over the place when he walked in. Then it was his turn. If there were a level zero, I would have defined it tonight & I truly felt like a fish out of water!

I stuck out the majority of the class. The friend I went with pulled her arm out so we both quietly exited out before class ended. She encouraged me to not give up. It was a nice gesture, but I felt in over my head.

New things aren't always easy, especially if we don't have a grid for them.

So it is Spiritually. I am not necessarily saying that knowing God is hard, but we have to grow in Him and that can be a little difficult. It's hard because it is foreign to us. He is so different than us: Merciful, Joyful, Sovereign, Omnipotent and more.

We had no grid when He saved us. We just knew what we knew in our hearts. The mistake is to think He is simply about rules and regulations and the keeping of a Bible study schedule.

He died so we could be in relationship with Him.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Hell and Salvation II

2009-06-17T22:09:00.003-05:00

I am still asking the question to God, is there truly & unequivocally a salvation that can keep someone though they may fall away? Does God truly redeem us from past, present and future sins, or is there the need for constant repentance?

One scripture I am looking at is Romans 8:33-34:
Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.

Another passage I am looking at is Hebrews 6:4-6
It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

Now, the Bible is really better read if it is read in context and as the narrative it is. We can get into a heap of trouble by pulling verses out of a passage and not considering them with the surrounding verses.

The above verses seem to contradict each other, but do they?? I am still considering this.
I would love your thoughts!
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Hell and Salvation

2009-06-16T22:05:00.000-05:00

I had a conversation tonight with a friend about Hell. She is reading a book that gives account of a ladies’ experience. She tells in this book how for thirty days each night the Lord takes her to hell so that she can see and understand and tell others.

She was telling me that in this book there are accounts of people who were Christians at some point in their life, but they walked away. Their walking away afforded them a place in hell, totally separated from God.

I suppose some of the questions that arise out of this are:

If once you committed and walked with God, could you truly ever turn away?
Would God condemn one of His own to Hell for not finishing well?
Is salvation something that God graciously gives us, or is it something we have to maintain?

Just when we think we have Him figured out, God stirs up the nest and confront us in order to bring us into a deeper revelation of His truth.

Is our salvation secure, or do we have a part that we play?

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Love Prevails over Fear

2009-06-11T11:44:00.003-05:00

Fear enhances our proclivity to embrace rules based living. If we aren't secure in the love of God then we will embrace the rules and do what think will please Him. There are only two possible outcomes from living under the bondage of a rules based relationship; you will either become the prodigal son, or you will become the older brother.

The prodigals are the ones who don't feel like they can measure up, so they rebel.

The older brothers are the ones who stick to the rules in hopes to winning their Fathers love and approval.

Neither in the story are in touch with the Father's love.

At the end of the story love prevailed over fear as the prodigal came back and was smothered by the love and affection of his Dad.

I want to live in that kind of love and life it brings!

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Fear Prevails

2009-06-11T09:43:00.001-05:00

Fear is a real motivator.
I was listening to one of the God Journey podcasts last night and they were talking about how fear of getting out of God’s good graces is such a bad motivator compared to love. If fear is the only thing helping to keep our P’s and Q’s in check then we have missed the whole relationship thing.
Think of it this way: A man and women are in relationship. She knows that he is very particular about what he needs to stay happy. She irons his shirts, she fixes his meals and she talks very kindly to him. She knows that if she forgets something or makes a mistake on any of these points that his temper will flare and she will be on the outside of his affection.
He hasn’t hit her, but he wouldn’t have to with the way he responds and treats her when she makes a mistake. She is compliant to his demands out of fear.
Some people see God as this aloof and demanding husband who will show you no mercy and will kick you out of His good graces if you make a mistake. Fear prevails over relationship.

Is fear prevailing over your relationship with God?

Making Something of Myself

2009-06-10T11:44:00.004-05:00

The American dream, pulling yourself up from your bootstraps and making it in this world in a big way.

I remember the anxiety I felt right out of high school. I settled on going to community college to get my basics out of the way. The longer I was there, the more uncertain of what I wanted to do with my life I became. I met so many people who had a goal and had an aspiration, but I just wasn't too sure.

Circumstances in life forced me out of community college and into the working world after three years. There were dreams in my heart and things that I did pursue, but I never got focused to "make something of myself."

I did make it back to school and graduated from Bible school in 2007. At this point I think that was a waste of my time as I have no desire whatsoever to do Church work. I also attempted to start my own business, which failed.

Pulling myself up from my own bootstraps.

I deal with much less anxiety and stress over this than I used to. I have come to a place of peace regarding where God has me. A lot of the dreams that were in my heart in high school and college are still there. Writing this blog is the fulfillment of one of those desires.

I realize it's not about making something of myself, but allowing God to love me -regardless of my accomplishments or failures- and lead me as He will.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Just the way you are

2009-06-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

Maybe it’s just me, but does anyone out there find it hard sometimes to rest in God’s love? That was where I was last night. I was working around the apartment and this song started running through my head, Just the way you are, a great song by Billy Joel. I pulled it up on my phone and was listening to it, I feel like this was a word to me in that moment.

God isn’t interested in my doing, or my performance, or anything else. He simply wants me as I am. By my resistance to just be still before Him I realize that there are still places in me that don’t trust Him. He loves me even in that.

He loves me even when I am Grouchy! The video here is a song being sung to oscar the grouch.

I imagine I could dive deep in His love my whole life and hardly skim the surface. I want to know His love more deeply.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Unwritten

2009-06-04T22:31:00.000-05:00

I was on facebook the other day and took advantage of one of this silly quizes -What song are you?-
I took the question and it tells me that the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield is my life song. I have heard that song a lot here lately, so when it was picked as my life song I was happy. =)
For those who haven't heard the song, you can click on the title and it will take you to youtube to check it out.

It's a song that talks about how life ain't over till it's over and there are so many opportunities we can embrace today.

I want to be open to all the opportunities that God has for me, but I don't want to be neurotic about it and strive my whole life fearing I am going to miss it. If He has called me to it, and I am walking with Him, how can I miss it?

The Turtle

2009-06-03T22:02:00.000-05:00

I was cruising down the access road of a major freeway yesterday when I saw something in my lane. So I moved over a little so as not to hit it. To my shock and amazement it was a turtle! Now I see tons of turtles in the creek when I take my walks, but to see one sticking it's neck out and trying to make it across this busy road during rush hour was remarkable. As I passed him by I said a little prayer that God would watch over him till he got to the other side. Thankfully at the point I saw him, he was over half way.

Now that turtle was doing what turtles do, moving at a slow rate of speed toward his desired destination. I don't know if it entered his little brain that at any moment any one of the vehicles coming his way could end it all for him. Not that I can read the emotions of a turtle, but he was just walking across the road as if there wasn't a care in the world for him. -As though someone had his back!

I have allowed myself to become bothered by somethings in life here lately and it's been causing me to lose momentum by focusing in on myself too much. It would be nice to be more like the turtle in that while I am in the thick of life, I can still walk in the peace that God has my back.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Renting our belief system.

2009-06-02T22:03:00.000-05:00

I don't understand the ways of God. I think I understand, and then I find myself rushing out in front of Him to do what I understand He has said. I usually get in trouble when I do that. I have lots of beliefs. Some came from my Baptist days, some from my charismatic days and some from my Bible school days. They cover the field from salvation, to what heaven and hell are like, to what the Church looks like etc..

The question I have asked myself here of late is, "am I renting a belief system?"

Do I believe and hold onto the things I understand because someone told me they were true, or have I gained an understanding of it for myself? I am not going nutty on you here. The tenets of the faith are not open to debate in my life, but the other things are.

The biggest question I have been confronted with within this last year is, "what does the Church look like outside of modern Christianity?" Being on this journey of organic body life and relationship over religion, that question keeps popping up. The interesting thing about this question is every time it comes up there is a new revelation with it.

The one thing I have been pulled into by the Lord through this period is that I don't have to conform to a pastor's agenda. ( weeks of a study on this, or classes that promote this etc..) I can simply allow the Spirit of God to lead me into the areas HE has for me. And in this point of the journey it's all about His love.
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Love. Just because.

2009-06-01T21:31:00.000-05:00

I was talking with a friend earlier today and she was telling me that she had come into an unexpected blessing. She felt like it came because God had seen her heart in a certain area and chose to encourage her by bringing about this blessing.

I think God likes to bless simply because HE loves us. We equate so much of what happens in this life to our performance. Which leads us to believe when times are bad it must have something to do with our performance. If the direct blessing of God is dependent on my obedience, then I am in major trouble as I know how often I miss it.

There have been times when I have been blessed and I knew that I was not where I should be with the Lord. Does His blessing indicate that He is happy with the choices I was making during that time? Doubtful!

Just because HE loves me, He blesses me. It's not tied to my performance.
There is freedom in this.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The Purge

2009-05-28T21:27:00.000-05:00

I moved from a three bedroom house that I was sharing with a friend into a one bedroom apartment that's roughly 670 square feet. It has been an adjustment on a lot of fronts. After being here for almost five months I am still working on what to do with all my stuff. Some things you want to hang onto for practical or for sentimental reasons and then some things you keep and you wonder, "why do I still have this?"

Purge! I have a pile in my living room of items marked for donation and another pile of things I hope will sell on craigslist. How can I make my life as simple as possible?

That is the question in my spiritual journey too, how can I live as simple as possible? Simple faith. Simple obedience. Simply living in Him.

What needs to be purged from my heart, my mind, and my life to live in that simplicity?

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

It's Greek to me

2009-05-27T22:29:00.000-05:00

I love the movie -My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I love it for the humor and as I watch it tonight I am reminded at the contrast drawn in the movie between the Portukolus family and the non Greeks.
The thing on my mind today is how different God's ways are compared with ours.

When I think I have it all figured out, God goes and messes up my nice and neat little paradigm. I should have it down pretty well by now, a christian for almost 20 years, spirit filled for 8 years and a graduate of a Bible school. But, I don't. At this point in life I feel like I am getting to know God all over again.

The journey is all about God bringing us through. I hope you're enjoying this journey with me.
Enjoy the clip from the movie - Greek
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The Clouds that take Shape

2009-05-26T20:47:00.000-05:00

I have been perched on my balcony for almost an hour now, watching the oncoming storm make it's approach. The air is starting to chill as the trees show sign that the winds are moving in. Lightening has streaked across the sky, revealing the puffy clouds as they pass me by. The storm is rather docile where I am located, but I imagine just north of here the intensity is more profound.

There are shapes in the clouds. The clouds that pass over me tonight are storm clouds, but the cloud by day and fire by night that lead the Isrealites were clouds of His presence.

Exodus 13:21-22 (NIV)

²¹ By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. ²² Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.

I have had too many days of moving with the light of my own understanding. I have had too many days when I let someone with a microphone convince me that I have to get in line because God's revelation is for the whole and we must make sacrifices for the whole. But what if that is not the season God has me in??

To be lead by the presence of God and moved by His Spirit. He is forming the cloud. Are we following Him?

From Religion to Relationship,

Heather

Darkness & Radiance

2009-05-21T22:18:00.000-05:00

We were once servants in the kingdom of the dark. After our eyes adjusted to the surroundings we could see better, but were unaware of the depth of the darkness. Little did we know that just off to the side of where we were standing there was an abyss that plunged downward. This abyss spiraled downward with no end and into everlasting darkness.

Thankfully we did not remain in that kingdom of dark or find ourselves plunged head-long into the everlasting abyss.
The Radiant One showed up on the scene and His illumination forced out all the darkness and showed us the truth. Now we walk in the light He brings.

As people of the light we carry the light of the Lord with us everywhere we go. So regardless of the darkness of the situation, we have the Light and the Truth.

Illuminate

How is the illumination of God spilling out into the dark places you travel daily?
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

The longest spring fever ever!

2009-05-20T22:06:00.000-05:00

I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma. By small I mean a little over 4000 people! I now live in a suburb of Dallas that has over 206,000 residents. That is a drop in bucket compared with 6 million plus that live in the DFW metroplex.

As a child I was always playing outside, at the park, with the neighbors, in the alley way eating fresh blackberries. I love being outdoors! Once summer hit, my parents would take us to the lake where we would adventure for things along the shore, or fish, or play games of tag. I miss those carefree days, especially when the weather is as nice as it has been this spring.

I think this has added to my spring fever. I often catch myself daydreaming of tropical locations with hammocks on the beach and a nice fruity drink to sip on. Then I snap out of it to realize I am instead sitting in a grey-toned cubicle staring at a computer screen.

It's been the longest spring fever ever. I am thankful that Memorial day is this weekend and that I have an extra day off!
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Journey down the path

2009-05-19T21:55:00.000-05:00

If I had know all that God was going to bring me through for me to be where I am right now! Life has a way of surprising us. I was for sure certain things would be a reality to me here at the ripe old age of 30, but here I am and nothing is at all like I imagined. What a beautiful life, I couldn't have hand picked for myself if I tried! I am so thankful for what God has allowed to happen in my life and I wouldn't change a thing.
Journey.
There is a path that we must walk and it's the path of our life. God is very particular in this path and it is unique for us all as we are unique individuals. I have gotten into trouble over the years when I have tried to force others down the same path I have been down. There is so much freedom in living in the reality that we all have our paths to walk.
It's in walking on that unique path with Him that we come into the fullness of who He created us to be.
I hope you enjoy this song... it is a favorite Journey

Dreams and Destiny

2009-05-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting dream Saturday night. The last thing in my dream, I am asking this question; "How can you know what you want to do unless you've had the chance to do it?"

Would people choose to be the office clerk if they had a chance to do it a bit and decide if it were a good fit and they enjoyed it? How about being a firefighter, or a lawyer, or a plumber, or an artist?

I am sure some of you reading this blog had desires since you were knee high to a grasshopper and you are now in that profession. It does work this way with some. But there are those, like me, who have been all over the map looking for our niche.

Money is often a determination in the question of occupation. It would be difficult for someone who trained to be a doctor, only to find that they hated it, and then move on and become a florist. School loans are pressing and must be paid.

For those of us who are looking at life and wondering where exactly we fit, there is hope. Dreams and destiny lay buried deep in our hearts and God will walk us through the daily journey of mining them out. How beautiful and brilliant are the gems that He brings out!

Dreams

2009-05-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

On big white puffy clouds the little fat angels sit in wait to give dreams to the sleeping inhabitants of the earth. Well, maybe not chubby cherubim, but God wants to speak to us in our dreams.

I awoke the other night having had a dream about a dear friend of mine. It was short, but in telling her the dream, it had a big impact on her life.

Most of my dreams are about me and usually are for me, but not in this instance. God blessed me with the opportunity of dreaming the dream that in turn blessed her!
God is giving dreams to people all the time!

One of the coolest outreaches I have ever been on was to the Denton Jazz fest last year. We set up this really cool -dream themed booth and spent 2 and a half days interpreting people's dreams.
Why? Because God is speaking and they may not know what it means and that it is Him speaking to them!

If you don't remember your dreams when you wake up, ask God before going to bed to give you a dream and help you remember it.
If you want to interpret dreams, ask God for His Holy Spirit to move in your life in that way.
=)
Here is one of my favorite songs....Dream On by Aerosmith
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Commanded to Forgive

2009-05-13T22:27:00.000-05:00

At my volleyball meet up tonight they called a time out and had everyone gather in for the devotional time. The guy bringing the devotional starts talking about his parents' divorce and how he felt a little bitter about it. He then went into how God doesn't want us to be bitter, in fact God commanded us to forgive no matter how hard it might seem or big the offense.

I listened with an open heart, but all I could hear was the voice of the school teacher from the Charlie Brown cartoons saying "Whhaaa Whaaa Whaaa."
I couldn't argue with the theology, but in praxis how do you really walk this out?
This is my question right now as I am working through betrayal, bitterness, resentment, abandonment, and forgiveness in my own heart. If God is commanding me to forgive someone and I struggle with that, how can He possibly be with me in the middle of it?
I can walk around all day and say, "Oh, I forgive them and let them go" and my head would be in contradiction to my heart.
Everything flows from the heart. I think when I'm really living from my heart, even when I am walking through the shadows and dark places, that is where I experience His love the most.

This song really speaks to me. I hope you enjoy it. Wash Away Those Years by Creed
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Love

2009-05-12T19:49:00.000-05:00

The Love of God holds me,
when I get it all wrong.
The Love of God fills me,
when I fear I don't belong.

The Love of God consoles me,
when I am so very sad.
The Love of God consumes me,
on my good days and my bad.

The Love of God surrounds me,
like an envelope to a letter.
The Love of God carries me,
as gentle as a feather.
-hj

God, bring us all into a deeper revelation of Your love, comfort and care for us.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Faithful

2009-05-11T22:13:00.001-05:00

Do you ever react to something in a way that is disproportionate to the situation? It doesn't happen often, but when it does I realize that there is unfinished business in my heart. The unfinished business is usually left over residuals from childhood experiences. This time was no exception.

You would think at 30 I would be well past my parent's divorce. Well, a situation that came up yesterday showed me there are still wounds there that need to be healed. What the heck does this have to do with being faithful you ask?? Yeah, I guess I did title this "faithful."

The God of the Universe is so in love with me that He uses situations to pull up anger, fear, doubt, insecurity, disillusionment, despair and betrayal in order to bring a deeper healing in my heart.

I was listening to a podcast from The God Journey and it really spoke to me. Brad and Wayne were talking about God being there. The God who is in heaven is also in the middle of my mess and in the middle of the pain with me. EVEN pain that I have created for myself. If this is not true, then I have no hope but to try and pick myself up, dust myself off and try to make my way back to Him.
He is faithful even when I am faithless.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Get by with a little help

2009-05-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

I recently found myself overwhelmed with the things with life. This happens to all of us on occasion and came down hard on me earlier this week. When I was in the walls of the church such times seemed easier as I could go up for prayer at the end of the service and get that lift to get on by. But now that I am not in a church and sitting in a service every week I don't get that pep talk and don't have the ministers lined up waiting to pray for my every need.

Some would say this is a disadvantage, and as of Monday I would have agreed. Now I don't agree so much. I have come to lean more and more on the Lord during this time than I ever have. I have also found that I am not as alone as I once feared.

I am very blessed to have such a wonderful group of friends who love me and a Father in heaven who pours His grace, mercy and peace out onto my life.

Here is a song you might enjoy - Amistad
From religion to relationship,
Heather

Grace

2009-05-06T21:43:00.000-05:00

Grace.

I could end my blog right there, but I won't. Grace is something I come into a deeper revelation of every day. I think I understand and think I have it figured out but then there is a new beam from the prism shinning and revealing grace in a whole new way.

Grace.

It's like the experience after the first spring rain after a hard and long winter. It often comes as a surprise as the light rains fall and the landscape is transformed from drab and dreary to a luscious green paradise.

Grace... To walk in grace and live in grace. God reveal more of your grace to us all!

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Kung Fu Panda

2009-05-05T18:35:00.000-05:00

I am watching a wonderful movie tonight called Kung Fu Panda. A great movie that came out not too long ago. Basic plot line is this: Po, our panda star of the movie dreams of being a kung fu warrior -the Dragon Warrior.

Fate has destined him to train with the furious five to claim his place as the Dragon Warrior and protect the town from the dreaded Tylung and his vengeance upon the city.
The process is grueling for our hero, but at the end of it he finds the secret ingredient was not knowledge or strength but something he already possessed.

A great message and one that really speaks to me right now.

Since leaving the organized church, all the outlets (outside of work) for my performance addiction have fallen away. I have since been working through what it means to simply be a child of God, relating to Him as a child and not a servant working for Him.

To know that the secret ingredient is not my performance for Him, but His unfailing love towards me.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

A matter of trust

2009-05-04T20:58:00.000-05:00

I awoke with this song in my head not too long ago -A matter of trust . This is an old Billy Joel song that was written in 1986. When you watch it, it's definitely 80's & I think I recall seeing it on MTV when MTV actually played videos!

I don't often awake with songs in my head, but I did on this morning. I got online and pulled up the youtube video of the song to hear all the lyrics and I was struck by the truth contained in this song.
It is all about love and trust.

I really heard God speaking to me through this song. A couple of lyrics stood out to me, the one that really speaks volumes to me currently is this one:
I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're gonna face a moment of truth
It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust

For anyone who identifies with me in this. I believe God is good enough to not only bring us to faith, BUT to also mend us in the broken places of trust. I like this rendition from the message Matthew 12: 17-20

Look well at my handpicked servant;
I love him so much, take such delight in him.
I've placed my Spirit on him;
he'll decree justice to the nations.
But he won't yell, won't raise his voice;
there'll be no commotion in the streets.
He won't walk over anyone's feelings,
won't push you into a corner.
Before you know it, his justice will triumph;
the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even
among far-off unbelievers.
Help me trust you more Jesus.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Life, Love and sharing

2009-04-29T22:47:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about love a lot here lately. I want to be a person who is moved by love. I want to be a person that love flows through. I have heard it said, "Love doesn't make the world go around. Love makes the ride worthwhile." -Franklin P Jones. I really think Franklin is on to something here.

We have faith, hope and love & the greatest of these is love. At the end of the day.. faith and hope will pass away, but love will remain.

I had an opportunity last night to speak life and love into a stranger's life. I was with a friend at dinner and we were hanging out talking about God. We were both struck by the waitress' creativity. There were some physical signs of it -her nails were done up in a really cool way and she had the neatest ring on her hand. As we were paying our bill I looked at her and said "you are a very creative person and don't let anything squelch that". The look on her face said it all... a word of life had hit a place in her heart.

I didn't follow that up with handing her a tract or trying to go through the roman road or anything, I simply let the word God put in my heart for her resonate. I left it at that, tipped her well and we left.
That was loving her where she was in that moment.
Jesus often touched unbelievers in a similar fashion.
check out this link: Doug Addison

From religion to relationship,
Heather

Performance issues

2009-04-28T22:53:00.001-05:00

To be at home in the Father's love, I believe is the single most important aspect of our relationship with God. Since leaving the organized Church I came face to face with the performance issues of my own heart. I didn't realize how much of my self worth and validation I received from my contribution to church life nor did I realize how much I tied my performance to His pleasure, or displeasure of me.

But God isn't looking for servants -or actors, He is looking for Sons and Daughters.

I love this passage out of 1 John 4: 17-19 this is the message translation thanks to BibleGateway

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

I love how it puts it.. love has the run of the house and love becomes at home and mature in us.

I was reading through the word about a year ago about the piercing of the ear as a sign to show who the servants were. I was seriously considering piercing one of my ears with an extra hole as a sign of commitment to the Lord, but I am glad now that I did not do that.
I started thinking about it a different way, if I struggle at times with my heart towards God in service to Him, what makes me think that an outside action -however sincere it is- will really produce an effect on my heart? He really is more concerned about the heart than He is all the outside stuff.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Expectations

2009-04-28T22:28:00.000-05:00

Expectations are placed on our lives at a very early age, and rightly so because what parent would want their high school student wearing diapers because they never learned how to use the toilet? That would be embarrassing and absurd! There are good expectations and over-bearing expectations. Expecting your child to behave in public is a good expectation.. Expecting your child to make straight A's on every test, in every class, for each semester and each year they are in school with no exception is over-bearing and I think detrimental to their hearts.

When we come into the church we find expectations placed on us as well. Spiritual disciplines are taught and expected from the members -fasting, praying, tithing, giving, service etc.. In and of themselves these things are perfectly normal and should be a part of every Christian's life. In order for the Church to run smoothly and properly in today's society there is a heavy burden placed on the members to sign up for this, attend that, serve here and serve there.

Though it may not be broadcast in the sermon that those who are not part of such activities are on a lower level spiritually, there seems to be an undercurrent of thought that sucks people into believing that is true. Expectations.
Last time I read the Word it said -He would never leave me or forsake me. Since when have I had to perform for Him??
How many hours a week do you spend involved with activities of your Church?? I was spending an extra 10 hours a week. It drained the life out of me.

From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

Religion aka Rigor Mortis

2009-04-27T22:14:00.001-05:00

Early on in my Christian journey I became diligent and even militant about doing things "the right way" in my relationship with God. This lead me to become a very rules based individual who walked in very little love and grace for those who didn't have it together. "You need to try harder" was something I didn't come right out and say, but was something that I implied to those who were struggling. And I wondered why my friends were few and far between!

If I couldn't overcome a weakness or sin in my life it was because I was doing something wrong. I didn't have enough perseverance in prayer, I didn't witness enough, I wasn't reading my Bible enough, tithing enough or worshiping God enough. I knew God was more than enough, so the shortfall had to be on my end.

I got to the point in my life when I asked God, "why is it always my fault?"

That question really set me on a journey to find out who HE really is. Manipulation, fear and an endless set of doo's and don'ts are presented by religion. Like I could ever do enough to get His love and affection!

The law is a very strict master and all those who try to perfect themselves by it will find themselves frustrated and discourage those around them looking for God in the earth.

Religion kills... the Spirit brings LIFE!!!
From Religion to Relationship,
Heather

untimely death

2009-04-24T22:57:00.000-05:00

I wanted to blog about this as I just heard about it. One of my second cousins died this evening in a motorcycle accident, he was not quite a year out of high school. The really sad thing is that my aunt lost one of her sons in his later year of High School, it's gotta be really hard for her and her son.
I still have friends in the area of oklahoma I am from, and where this happened & thankfully Josh had been going to one of the local churches and had talked to someone about getting saved. That brings peace to my heart.

please keep my family in your prayers, especially my aunt and his parents.

A song that is really speaking to me right now. Click here for the video.

Of Guilt and Love...

2009-04-23T23:28:00.000-05:00

I have thought a lot lately about guilt, condemnation and motivation. What is motivating my actions? Am I motivated out my own insecurities or fears or guilt, or am I motivated out of a heart of love? I have been in too many circles where fear, guilt and condemnation were used as a tool to get a certain response.
I have some dear friends who have recently watched a video on the fires of Hell. They wanted to do so to increase their burden for the lost. We can all conger up ideas in our heads about how bad Hell is (please don't think I am making light of that), but is guilt a good motivation for sharing God's love?
There are things in my life that have plagued me for years, things that I have felt guilty and condemned for & have pledged to God over and over again; "I'll change!" Only to find myself in the same boat a couple of weeks or months later.
I don't think that guilt, fear and condemnation are good change agents.
I do believe that God's love is.
Holy Spirit, make the love of the Father so real to me that it has no where else to go but through my life and into the lives of others.

He is SO into you...

2009-04-22T22:19:00.000-05:00

I watched a great movie tonight called, "He's just not that into you." How appropriate with what I have been blogging about! Not to give the movie away, here is the main plot. Men and Woman trying to figure out their relationships. You start off with the do's and don'ts in relationship -don't call him, he will call you... if he is mean to you it means he likes you... etc.. At the end you see how it is somewhat true, but life is unpredictable and things really don't work that way.
Clever movie & what a great analogy!
God IS into you...
He is madly in love with us and He will surprise us if we let Him out of the box we have placed Him in.
This is one of my favorite songs & the video is just way cool. Enjoy! See the way

Poor imitation..

2009-04-21T22:16:00.000-05:00

I appreciate all of you reading my blog. I have always wanted to share my life through writing and blogs are such a unique way to do that. I appreciate your comments, feel free to leave one.
Religious living is such a poor imitation for Relational living. Imagine that you're married and there are little rules that govern everything about your relationship: Holding hands: only twice a month. Calling each other on the phone: only once a day for 10 minutes. Kissing: twice a day. Sex: 1st base -this way, 2nd base -that way and 3rd base --
Sounds rather crazy right??
Well, this is what religion has done with God.
In a real relationship between a man and a women there is passion, love and beautiful relationship. Relationship with God has been put into a step by step plan & if you just follow these steps He will be your friend.
I am done with Twelve Steps to Jesus & all the other methods that are floating out there that do nothing but put us under a works and perfectionism trip.
Religiously living for Him is a poor imitation.
God is so MADLY in love with me and with you (PERIOD!). There is not a single thing that you can do that would cause Him to love you more or less than He does right now.
How then do we live?? Saturate us with Your Love Jesus that Your love moves through us!

Do this, don't do that... can't you read the signs?

2009-04-20T21:51:00.000-05:00

One thing that religion excels in is isolating Christians from the world. Instead of Christians being in culture and engaging culture there is an encouragement for Christians to withdraw from culture and join the Christian sub culture.

I had a conversation with a friend last night and I could hear the frustration in his voice. He was disappointed in the way the Church at large promotes isolation of Christians. We discussed this for a bit & I had to agree, church is the place that fun went to die!

This makes me very sad. We have said "we can't do that" for so long that we are no longer and influence and the light to that part of the world. As I read the Gospels, I am always moved at how very different Jesus did things compared with how we did them. We give the babes in Christ a list of things to do and not to do & never equip them to hear God's voice for themselves. Thus, we produce a body of believers who become rigid in their do's and don'ts and who dismiss the leading of the Spirit when it's outside their paradigm.

This reminds me of the old school song called -Signs by the Five Man Electric Band (this version is by Tesla).
click on Signs for the video!

You find out quickly who your friends are..

2009-04-16T21:12:00.000-05:00

Roughly 10 years ago I found myself very frustrated. I wasn't fulfilled with Sunday morning church. I was responsible for leading our Sunday school class into worship for a few songs & faithfully took care of that responsibility.
I had been apart of this group for a couple of years and always felt like an outsider. So, I decided to not show up for a few Sundays. I slept in and attended a little home church thing I found through a friend. One week went by, then two. Finally I decided to go back to see what all was going on there and found that they had replaced me as the worship leader & had never even called to see if I were okay.
Needless to say I was a little hurt by that.
I had been apart of this group for a couple of years and even went on a mission trip with them, but there was little to no relationship and that was really brought out to me through that situation.

At this time in my life, I was so set on pleasing God that I never questioned being among a people who didn't give me the time of day.
Now God's love consumes my life and He has set me among others who deeply care and love me. What a difference His love makes! I would rather live in the stupor of His love than in the chains of 'service'.

Learning the Ropes.

2009-04-15T22:19:00.000-05:00

As it is with just about anything in life, you have to learn the ropes. In school, you learn the ropes - don't go there, hang out with them and not them. At work, a similar situation -hang out with them, do your best, kiss up (haha). Then there are the others: Lather, rinse & repeat; stop, drop and roll; do not pass go & do not collect 200 dollars etc..

Even in religion you have to learn the ropes - in some denominations it's worse than others. Sit, stand, kneel -repeat. Sing the first, the third and end on the fifth stanza (usually a song from the reformation- often written by one of the Wesley brothers). In charismatic circles you say a lot of Amens and Hallelujahs and they are often seen jumping pews and breaking out into some sort of Holy Ghost hop!

Learning the ropes.
For years I longed to be in a leadership capacity within the Body of Christ. At times I was in that capacity, and at other times I was not. I was around it long enough to see the ropes one must master in order to be in leadership. Some are sensible and others are almost as silly as some mentioned above. Have you ever gotten to know the heart of someone by knowing how to move on the ropes? Last time I checked, rules never really built relationship.

Awe, Wonder & the Journey

2009-04-14T11:55:00.000-05:00

After experiencing the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, I completely awed and over-joyed. My poor friends were overwhelmed with my enthusiasm a little repelled by my desire for them to have the same experience. I finally cooled my jets with the realization that if God could reach me, He could reach anyone.
I was reading a lot online during those days. One site I read feverishly was http://www.theophilus.org/ . This site is a guy' s journey from traditional Christianity to life in the Spirit. As I read his story, I found encouragment in my journey and the story God was writing in me.
God has always done this in my life. He brings people, books, teachings -Himself - to walk along side me during times of transition. This is one reason I was drawn to blog about my experiences, I know there will be others who have been down a similar road & who will need a little encouragement.
In what way has God encouraged you at moments of transition? Have you had the opportunity to be that encouragement in another travelers life?

Pausing for a reflection on Easter

2009-04-11T14:30:00.000-05:00

For about five months now I have been crying out to God for a deeper revelation of His love. So, this Easter is a little different than previous Easters. Most of the time we focus in on the suffering Christ and the extreme pain and agony He went through. That is part of the story, but behind all the pain and agony is THE story.
His desire for me outweighs anything that could get in His way. God's love for me is so extravagant, so intense and so real -He couldn't bear the thought of living without me.
My prayer for me and for the Body of Christ is that we would become completely overwhelmed by His love.

Some things I have been reading and listening to lately that are impacting me.
(Book) Abba's Child by Brennan Manning/
(Book) The Shack by William P Young
(Book) So you don't want to go to church by Wayne Jacobsen
(Book) He loves me by Wayne Jacobesen
(MP3) http://www.lifestream.org/transition/transition.html

My mission years..

2009-04-09T21:59:00.000-05:00

As a young child I was raised up Missionary Baptist. A small sect in the Baptist community, they align themselves with the ABA (Amercian Baptist Association). The first part is what really stuck in my life... missionary.

Ever since I was a small child I was involved with missions & had a desire to do missions. Writing cards for missionaries, learning about exotic locations that missionaries lived, and hearing the stories about people who lived in situations so far and different from mine. All of these fanned the flame for my desire to see serve God and see the world.

In Jr High school I started taking summer mission trips with my church. I went on a trip every summer except my Senior year. I continued to do trips all over the US through my college years.
After some adjustments in my life and my college days were over, so I thought, I started attending a large church in Dallas. This church was very missions minded & would be considered a sending church. When I got involved in their young adult ministry I jumped in and had chances to travel around the world. I went to: Sri Lanka, Prague -Czech Republic, Peru & Morocco. When I decided to go to back to school, one of my requirements for graduation was to go on a summer trip. I went for 3 weeks to Malaysia & the Philippines.

What does this have to do with moving from structure to organic body life? We have really done a good job at importing our ways of doing "church" into other nations and cultures. I think to their detriment. If you go into the East, you will find people are much more relational and they know how to live in community. I think we could learn from them.
I think church life would be more pleasant and less of an obligation if we lived in community with one another. --and I don't mean communal! =)

Let the Games Begin..

2009-04-08T21:38:00.000-05:00

I gave my life to Christ on leap year day, 1992. I was 13. Man, how my life changed! I walked in the newness and joy of that for a short time. Then I started learning about all the rules and regulations that came tied to my particular denomination. My life quickly slipped from relationship to rules.
I yielded to the Spirit for the baptism of the Holy Spirit on a chili day in January 2000. One of the better words used to describe this experience would be "overwhelmed!" I walked in the awe and wonder of this for a couple of months. Religion always kills the Spirit.
Most of my life I have walked a religious walk Most of my Christian life I have exalted THE Book over the Author. Most of my Christian life I exalted the pastor above The Shepherd. Most of my Christian life I relied on methodology over reliance on the Spirit. I even exalted the institution over relationship with my Heavenly Father.
Somehow, I don't think God ever intended for it to be this way.

Spirit Surprise!

2009-04-06T09:35:00.000-05:00

At the turn of the Millinium I yielded to the Spirit of God. When I was overtaken by the Spirit of God, I felt as if someone shook up a carbonated drink on the inside of me and it needed to escape! It was the Spirit of God! My heart was over-joyed and I was flooded with peace and love as I had never experienced before. Yielding to the Spirit of God was easy, allowing the flow of speaking in tongues was another thing.

Being raised Baptist, we were taught that God no longer moved with the gifts of the Spirit & if we saw such a thing it had to be demonic. God knows me so well that He knew I had to have a supernatural experience with this or I would have never taken it as Him.
God really set me up on this. I was praying about things on my campus and telling God I really didn't know how to pray and that was all it took!

BOOM! Just like that! As I lay on my bed the breathe of God started to move through me and I started spurting out things I had never heard in my life! After about a minute of this things started to settle and subside. My immediate question to God was "That was so cool!, Can we do that again?"

Needless to say, I still speaking in tongues. I was a total skeptic before, but now I am convinced of the benefits it brings into the life of a believer. I consider this an invaluable gift that the Spirit of God gives His children.

My Story III -Shift happens

2009-04-02T22:31:00.000-05:00

I met a lot of great friends while in community college. But, being as it was community college & not a four year school, people came and went frequently. My heart was on the search for something more and God brought a relationship my way to help me make that shift.
My third year in community college the Lord brought a Spirit-filled believer into my life & through that relationship my life took a shift into high gear. She took the time to talk with me about the Spirit-filled life and through the process I experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Words cannot explain the joy and peace that filled my heart as I yielded to the Spirit of God. Up to that point in my life I had never known such incredible love. It was such a dramatic change that my mom thought I had gotten onto drugs! I would just tell her that it was Jesus.

Religious Living -shifting

2009-04-01T22:15:00.000-05:00

I made it through High School and through a move to a new state. I started community college 2 months later and jumped straight into college life and an on campus christian organization. I lived by the book, made lots of friends and still carried my Bible with me to classes. The newness and excitement lasted about 2 months. I still had a searching going on in my heart.
I heard the news that a massive school shooting had happened in Colorado. As the details came out two boys conspired to rampage the school and kill their classmates. Tragic! This event really struck a chord in me because of the testimony of one young lady, Cassie Bernall. I picked up the book when it came out. The book spoke very deeply to me. Here I was a young lady in college reading about a teenager in High School who gave it all for God -to the death.
It caused me to take a real and deep look at my own heart & I realized that I missing something. Little did I know that part of that answer was on it's way.

Religious living

2009-03-31T00:42:00.000-05:00

I gave my life to Jesus at 13. I was happy to have a friend to walk by my side and enjoyed a free & happy relationship with Him for about a week. Then I started figuring out that there are certain ways you do this thing called "Christianity." I joined the ranks of so many who start working for God & do things for God instead of just being with God.
I got real good in my religion. I would beat people over the head with my 10 pound KJV Bible I toted around school. I wanted people to experience the change I had experienced, but didn't understand why they ran away.
This phase of my life lasted until my 2ND year of college.
At that point I become president of the local on campus Christian club & thoroughly enjoyed doing things with that group. But, at this point I was falling out of love with the religion & wanting much more.